So, I’m sitting in my office when a woman bursts through the front door. I’m not expecting anyone and she doesn’t see like the kind of woman who hangs out with engineers (i.e., she doesn’t dress like a hobo), so I go out and coldly greet her.

Cold greetings are my specialty. I had to perfect them to chase off the salespeople.

Anyway, the nice, middle-aged white woman asked me if she could use the phone because she doesn’t have a cell phone. And furthermore, there’s a white truck parked in front of our office, running, with no one around.

Oh, I think to myself, she’s just a good Samaritan, trying to find the guy who accidentally left his truck running while he’s working.

It could be a terrorist, she tells me. She needs to call the police.

Terrorists aren’t hanging out in front of the broke ass library ion the cheap side of Main Line Philly, lady. Especially when the truck — an obvious construction vehicle — is parked in front of an obvious construction zone.

I did not let her use the phone.