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Eric, snap the f*ck out of it! You have no loyalty to Bill Compton. You are a Viking vampire and god and you bow to no one! If someone crosses you, you rip out their liver with one fang!


An open letter to Alan Ball:

Dear Alan,

Seriously? What the fuck is with all the rape?

Not a fan,


Really, there has been a lot of rape and attempted rape on the show ““ Sookie, Jason, Tara, Antonia, Rene’s sister, Jessica (if her turning wasn’t symbolically meant to be a rape/murder, I’ll eat my hat), Luna (via Tommy’s damn shenanigans this episode), and the entire dubious consent issue for every single person at one of Maryanne’s maenad sex orgies. And you know what? I’m tired of it. I’m tired of rape as character development. As motivation. I’m soaking in rape culture and I’d have more patience for it on this show ““ which, let’s be fair, I give plenty of rope to ““ actually dealt with the issue instead of tossing it in to zest up the storylines.


Let’s move on.

So far, season 4 has not been my favorite. I mentioned last week that I had been fairly “meh” about everything that’s gone on, and despite what happens in this episode, the show feels like it’s treading water. We revisit Antonia’s story, which has now been repeated (with angles) for three episodes straight. We get more Bill-Sookie-Eric. Debbie is sketchy again. Andy is still V-hopped up. Stuff happens, yet nothing seems to have gone anywhere.

 Now that Eric and Sookie have moved on to semi-naked-on-the-couch, Bill bursts in like the wet blanket he is to put a screeching halt to the festivities. The vampires pop fang and trade blows for Ms. Stackhouse’s affection until Sookie yells out that Bill is the King. New Eric immediately falls to his knees.

I mentioned back at the beginning of the season that Bill could only secure his crown through trickery because he wasn’t strong enough to hold it through power. Observe: Eric wipes the floor with him. There’s not even a contest. Eric spanks him all over Sookie’s living room and would have ended him in a big pile of goo if Sookie hadn’t intervened. How long is he going to be able to maintain this charade?

Bill drags Eric back to the mansion, has him silvered (just to be a jerk) and then tells Sookie he doesn’t care about who’s between her legs (just to be a jerk) and then that she’s being manipulated by Eric so he can get in her pants (because he’s a lying jerk). Sookie calls him to the carpet on his bull ““ this is a season shift that I can get behind. Sookie is far more “fiesty” with a helping of “gumption” over her “kinda bratty” attitude of seasons 2 and 3.

Her character development gets her escorted off the premises.

Eric and Pam are reunited in the basement of Chez Compton. It’s not quite the reunion Pam hopes for ““ she’s melting in slow motion, her father-figure barely remembers who she is, and he’s acting like a pushover. She tries to jar some sense into him, but Eric doesn’t want any part of his old life.

Over in another cell, Marnie is offering herself up for a host to any spirit that will have her. She’s scared and weak, and people like that can be awfully dangerous. Antonia takes the opportunity to give Marnie another bit of her back story, showing her how Antonia raised all of her tormentors and burned them in the sun during her own execution. Let’s be honest here ““ that’s pretty badass. That kind of anger doesn’t just evaporate. The spirit takes over Marnie ““ it’s not clear what happens to “Marnie,”she could just be hanging around for the ride ““ and summons one of Bill’s sheriffs, Louis, who was also one of her tormentors. Fate or coincidence? I’ll go with fate. She’s gonna mess his stuff up.

While the vampires are having their drama, other things are going on in Bon Temps. And Mexico.

Bon Temps ““ Arlene and Terry’s house gets burned down by either a) their creepy child, b) their creepy doll, c) Rene’s ghost, or d) all of the above. Most importantly, Terry’s armadillo, Felix, makes it out of the house OK. Oh, and so do the kids. In fact, Mikey was outside the house before anyone else, which is totally weird, y’all, because he was supposed to be in his crib. And he’s waving to some pretty ghost lady who might have rescued him.

SB prediction time ““ I will guess that Pretty Ghost Lady is actually connected to the doll and has manipulated events to get close to Mikey. But, also, Rene’s spirit is also in play, and there’s going to be a spirit level showdown over Mikey. And Lafayette will be involved, since there’s absolutely no reason to introduce Lafayette-as-medium in this episode AND a new spirit in Bon Temps without them being connected.

Tommy is now a skinwalker after killing his mama and turns into Sam by accident. Not one to let a good opportunity go to waste, he promotes Jessica to server, fires Sookie, and then has sex with Luna when she stops by Sam’s trailer.

It’s finally the full moon, so Jason has preemptively handcuffed himself to his bed so he doesn’t hurt anyone when he turns. Sookie, who finds him in this compromising position, points out that his slender panther paws will just come out of the handcuffs. When she refuses to leave him alone, Jason ditches her during a bathroom break and takes off into the swamp. His fear summons Jessica and she sweetly watches over him until it becomes obvious that those Hot Shot weres had no idea what they were doing. There’s a rising tension between them and Jason, for once, wisely takes off before he does something stupid.

Mexico ““ Don Bartlo agrees to help Jesus and Lafayette with their witch problem if Jesus finds an appropriate sacrifice. Both boys insist that they have a vampire problem, not a witch problem, and Don Bartlo laughs right in their face. Everyone on the show has dismissed Marnie as a threat despite all the trouble she’s gotten them into ““ clearly, this is going to come back and bite all of them in the ass. Jesus finds a rattlesnake ““ so symbolic! ““ brings it to his grandfather, and then his grandfather attacks Jesus with it. As Jesus writhes on the floor, Bartlo locks the boys in a seemingly empty room, commanding Lala to protect his lover. It’s a drastic move, but Lafayette has proved obviously resistant to the truths that have been in front of him since last season; he’s got a connection to the other world. A healer spirit possesses Lala long enough to cure Jesus.

And that brings us around to the last big development of the episode.

Bill convinces Nan Flanigan that Eric is a threat to the vampire community, though his lie fools no one. He gets permission to finish Eric off anyway. As he prepares to Final Death the Viking, Eric pleads for mercy to the women in his life; Pam, moldering away in the basement, and Sookie, who still cares for Bill and deserves to be happy, even if Eric can’t be the one making her so. Bill’s black heart grows three sizes too big and he sets the other vampire free.

Eric finds Sookie in the swamp and the two make love under the moon while Bill gets a morose silhouette in which we are supposed to feel bad for everything he lost. (Some of us don’t care.)

Bonus content: Neko Case, “I Wish I Was the Moon”